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Colleen McFarland: Blog

the BIG questions

Posted on February 10, 2012 with 0 comments first big question for the day is..when did people start making babies so they could start a baby clothing and accessories line? ie...Blue Ivy (Beyonce and J.Z) it me, or is there something fundamentally narcissistic and 'over the top' capitalistic about this?  I am always fighting with myself about not promoting myself, music, etc. enough, because to tell you the truth, it just gets tiring, after all, I am trying to convince everyone, including myself, that I am worthy of this non-stop promotion and devotion, even though I'd really just like to relax and write a song or read a book, watch a movie, or eat a piece of chocolate.  I beat myself up constantly over this nonsense.  Then I hear this crazy story on the radio about the new Blue Ivy baby line of crap, and my jaw dropped.  I almost stopped driving my car, just so I could let the full impact of this statement settle into my brain because my brain did not want to accept it...I thought 'no, it's not true, do they really need to make any more money, and especially from their newborn child who has no idea that her parents have concocted this evil scheme and are making her baby CEO of her own line of baby crap?  I suddenly felt like I didn't belong to the universe for a moment, it was as if I were suddenly kicked back in a time machine and was saying to myself..'why, I remember when there was integrity in our society, and people really cared about more important things, and this country is going to hell in a hand basket', like many old people do when they just don't get it anymore. 

So, I guess I'm turning into an old person, because life seems to be so overwhelming and shallow, and people care more about loving their cellphones and laptops and x-box games than they do about each other.  My brain is ready to collapse with all of the information I just can't absorb or defend myself from anymore.  I find myself clutching my Blackberry and keeping it close to me like some weird extension of my body, freaking out if I don't know where it's at, being reassured when I see it near me, and if I lost it, I would be lost.  How crazy is this?  Then I picked up my guitar tonight, and it felt so good to sing and play a song I haven't played in years.  I became part of another time and space...I rarely get time to just sit and play and sing without any interruptions or thinking about how I came to be part of this cog in the wheel, the big scary machine that really is taking over the world, and it's heartbreaking to be caught up in it all.  I watch these documentaries about how these super wealthy men, bankers, lobbyists, and politicians who think about nothing else except money, power, greed, and how they are going to control everything they can get their hands on, without any remorse or thought as to who they are going to screw over to get it.

I think about the music industry, and how it's not even about music anymore; it's about money, and power, and controlling other people; about radio stations and corporate satellite companies that shove this mindless drivel in our ears, and make people believe that it's something good when it's not.  I'm not saying that there aren't great songs that get played once in a while, but why do they have to play the same songs over and over and over again?  It's because there is one guy or girl getting paid a salary to call up radio stations to play this drivel every day, non stop.  I worked as an unpaid intern for two record companies once, and it was really disheartening to watch this in motion.  Thousands of dollars of unopened cds sat on the floor...dreams gone down the toilet...boxes of cds taken down to the local cd store and sold for a nickel, and not for the cd, but for the jewel case.  And only one artist was plugged every day, all was a game between the d.j.s and the artist promoters, concert ticket give-aways, autographed book signings in NYC, blah blah blah.  As an independent artist, who the hell has the time, money, or funds to keep this up?  I learned a hard lesson that summer.

Has anyone taken a gander at what's happening to television?  I had cable because I wanted HBO (you can't get HBO without ordering the expensive cable) so I could watch a few shows I really liked, including Game of Thrones and True Blood (gruesome at times I know, but also really well written and filmed).  Almost everything else, except for the History Channel (sometimes), Comedy Central, and Discovery (sometimes) is all reality t.v.  It is CRAZY.  There are Swamp People, Axe Men, The Devil I Married, The Murderer Next Door, Deadly Women, Dangerous Roads...Pawn Stars, Pawn Queens, the Pawn Guys, American Pickers, American Rednecks, American Muslims.  I know some of these might not be the exact titles, but they're close enough.  Has anyone every watched and really enjoyed the Kardashians?  It's the stupidest, dumbest show I've ever seen and they are the stupidest, dumbest girls on t.v, besides Paris Hilton, but I don't think she's on t.v. anymore.

Today I saw a news clip of some 18 year old girl who had her yearbook picture rejected three times because she looks like a total sex machine; she's posing provocatively on some stairway, holding the rail in a yellow slinky skirt, tummy exposed, and a top that's barely covering her breasts, and it's obvious that she (and her mother, who defended her) want to have their own reality show or become's so premeditated that anyone who doesn't see it should be psychologically evaluated.  But you know what?  It's not that strange anymore since everyone is trying to get their own reality show, and I just bet she'll get something out of it...she already has I guess since it was posted online, and if you're reading know about it too.

What the hell is going on?